Recently I have been thinking a lot about the journey each of us takes in life and the little choices we make that lead us down certain paths. No. I am not going through a mid life crisis that will see me buy a corvette or get a "Free Tibet" tattoo (though the corvette would be cool, and yes the Dalai lama should be able to return home but I digress). Working with the Sport School athletes I have been challenging them to be aware of the choices they make and examine why they do the things they do. As a result I a presentation about a journey which has lead a social studies teacher looking for a job to a life of teaching , coaching and generally spending the vast majority of my time working with kids and sports.
This is the first team I ever coached, the 1995-96 Blackburn Junior Secondary Volleyball team. It was my first year teaching and I was on a temporary contract. In those days everyone knew the way to go from temporary to permanent was to make sure that you left a big void if they got rid of you so being a sports guy I asked what teams needed a coach and there happened to be one left, Junior Boys Volleyball. Of course, I hadn't played volleyball since grade 9 but I had bills to pay and I had left my job at CN Rail to pursue teaching so my options were limited, time to fake until I could make it. Fortunately for me my best friend J.P. was a provincial team volleyball player and also a brand new teacher looking for a job. Can you say co-coach!
Our team was made up of primarily grade 9's so our success was limited but the kids were keen and committed and we as coaches still had the enthusiasm and misguided belief that through our guidance we would soon have a provincial championship team on our hands. Well, long story short the provincial championship never came but what did was far more valuable. Lots of laughs, life-long friendships, a belief in the value of hard work and the importance of being part of a team. What I did not realize is that group of kids would begin me on what is now an 18 year journey in coaching and working with youth that would lead touch every part of my life.
That first year of teaching I ended up coaching, in addition to volleyball, rugby, track and field, as well as running an intramural program, putting on basketball camps for elementary schools, in other words I got my full-time position. But it was the volleyball, and the relationships I started to build that ignited my passion. They were just such a great group of kids who worked exceptionally hard and (even though I didn't fully appreciate it at the time) demonstrated that the sport is secondary to the life lessons one learns from being part of a team.
Soon coaching began to touch all parts of my life. It was through my time coaching that I eventually met my wife, who would get called in to substitute teach my class when I was away on a tournaments. It was only by chance that she was also a volleyball coach (her maiden name was Spike, if that was not fate I don't know what is). My team knew Ms. Spike and took a lot of credit for "setting us up", when we had our first child, team mothers gave us hand made baby blankets and looked after my son during games and practices. It was clear I wasn't just coaching kids I was gaining an extended family. When I started coaching I looked at the kids as my little brothers, once I had kids I started to see characteristics in them that I would hope my son(s) would possess. Truly the connections and relationships formed through hours in the gym and on the bus had become an indispensable part of my life.
Now 18 years later I look back and realize I would not have wished for a different path. My wife, sons and myself are all heavily involved in sports. We still coach and compete ourselves, we have won games and lost games but the relationships are as important to us as ever. When I look back on the that first team that it all started with I still smile. I run into a few of the guys once in a while, some have moved, many have lost touch as they have moved on with life, one tragically past away a few years after he graduated (JP and I did the eulogy and I still think about him almost ever day) and I am sure what they mean to me is far greater than what I meant to them. Most importantly, I do see glimpses of those boys in my own sons and it makes me proud and satisfied with time well spent.
First, time is the most valuable thing we own. It is believable to me how fast time seems to be moving at this stage in our lives. It seems like just a winter or two ago that Marla and I were loading up the boys in the sleds to pull them around West Lake. Then all of a sudden Graeme is turning 15 in a couple of weeks and Connor is tying his tie to go to Christmas dinner (ya, don't ask about the tie thing at least it is not a cape and fuzzy pants, been there done that). Time together with family and friends is so precious and there always seems to be something competing for this finite resource. I have realized this year that unless you are willing to make time, say no to a few things, turn off the outside noise and be present in the moment no one is going to do it for you and before you realize it those moments will be gone. It seems simply and really boils down to time in has to be greater than time out. 
Second, work is work, play is play and play is always better! Both Marla and I have had a great year at work. We both enjoy our jobs, work with people we value, have a good mix of stimulation, fun and reward and are lucky to have much more good than bad in our work days. However, with that all said work is still something you do so you can enjoy the play (even if your play often looks like work). Work comes with rules, regulations, procedures, commitments both mental and physical. Play is passion, compromise, liberating and empowering. Too often the work part of your life takes over and reduces your willingness or ability to play. Play is what feeds us and we need to nurture it, even if that play looks a lot like lying in the sun having a nap.
