The Wellness Teeter Totter

As we navigate these strange covid days there is more attention than ever being placed on mental health and the strain that working and living  through a pandemic is  placing on people.  As a result wellness is a daily topic of conversation in our schools, workplaces, the newsfeeds and social circles.  These conversations take many forms but are often centered around work-life balance and addressing individual's social, emotional and physical health. Personally these conversation hit home for me as personal and professional wellness has been at the centre of my decision-making since my university/railroad days when things weren't all that well or balanced.  What I have come to know over the years is that there is no "silver bullet" program or practice that ensures wellness.  The reality is wellness is like teeter totter with a wide variety of stressors that may unbalance us and require specific interventions and/or practices to bring the teeter totter back into balance.  

I would say in my late 20's I needed much more social and emotional support as a single guy navigating his way into adulthood and a career and at times felt could feel isolated and alone.  After graduating from University my decision to leave the railway and move back to Prince George and start my teaching career was the reset moment that I needed even though it meant walking away from a 6 figure job and moving into a basement suite with some buddies that was affectionately known as the "crack house" (because of the condition of the property, not because we were doing crack). Even though financially it looked like a bad move, surrounding myself with like-minded friends and moving away from social settings that had become negative influences on my life, was precisely the wellness decision I had to make.

Once I was married and had children my family provided the social and emotional stability and it was work-life balance support I needed as my wife and I both were professionals working full-time, going to school for our master's degrees, parenting two young boys and coaching.  Time management, efficiency and routines became very important for our family to ensure that our time together was high in quality to make up for the lack of quantity at times.  Balance was about placing importance on evening tobogganing, weekends at the cabin, days playing in the gym and holidays with family.   

As my boys moved into their teenage years life was extremely busy so ensuring we could quiet the "noise" and get respite from hectic schedules became paramount.  Summers, spring breaks and Christmas holidays become more important than ever as our weekends and evening were filled with activities.  As a result balance had to be viewed with a longer lens as the teeter totter rocked back and forth depending on the time of year and the season but never sat in equilibrium.  Looking back at those years would I say they were challenging, tiring, frustrating at times?  Absolutely, however, they were also some of the best and most rewarding times of my life.  

Of course my emphasis on wellness is always around my wife and boys, however, since I am not independently wealthy there can be no balance without work.  In fact, it is quite interesting to me how "work-life balance" has come to mean that any time a person is stressed, busy or feeling unhappy it must be the work part that needs to curtailed.  Now don't get me wrong, I like not working. I would say one of my great skills is not working.  However, I also believe that work can give you purpose and satisfaction and that sometimes it is a grind.  This doesn't mean one suffers through a job they hate but it does mean making informed choices around what you want out of your job or career and realizing that it is called work for a reason.  I haven't always know what I want to do, but I have been lucky in that I am pretty aware of what I don't want to do.  When I first got into school administration I found that I didn't like the discipline aspect and how my connection and relationships with students changed, so I quit and went back to the classroom, which turned out to be the best decision I could have made as it allowed me the opportunity to build a school based soccer program as well as be the lead teacher in the Canadian Sport School of Northern BC.  At the same time I was also reinvigorated by the social studies classroom experience and I through myself into curriculum development with a group of friends and colleagues founding the Pacific Slope Consortium that lead to course design, professional development and textbook writing.  And now after 17 years and in a different point in my life with many different experiences I find myself back in school administration in a position better suited to my love of curriculum development.  

Now as I head into my 50s and my kids are done high school and life is slowing down a little, personal health and fitness is more important than ever in keeping balance.  This became very clear a few years ago when I began experiencing a slight tingling in my arm and hand (read more here). Of course when I first felt some discomfort dealt with it like I had always done.  Ignore it, outwork it, endure it and this slight annoyance will go away.  Well much to my surprise that tingling was due to a disc in my neck that apparently had  been acting up for years (and mostly ignored by me) and within weeks I had gone from working out 5 days a week, playing soccer and ball hockey and training for a marathon to  laying in my bed a night hoping that fatigue would overtake me so I could just get a few minutes of sleep.  It was at this time that I realized that everything I planned for or imagined in my future relied on me being physically active.  Vacations, hobbies, social circles, leisure time, even work all relied on me being fit and active.  The thought that I may not be able to do simple things anymore like going for a walk, riding a bike or playing tennis was sobering to say the least.  Luckily, cervical discs are apparently a little like a faulty part on a car and once I finally got to the right doctor who could remove the disc and install some hardware the pain disappeared I was ready for road trips again.  Of course, my doctor was quick to point out that my other discs were also not in great shape and that if I kept treating my body like I was 18 he would be seeing me again very soon.  As a result, I now focus on avoiding the boom and bust cycle of the weekend warrior and make sure I am getting consistent daily activity that focuses on injury prevention as well as just fitness and fun.  

So as we are now coming to the end of 2020 and moving deep into the COVID second wave, wellness and balance are more important than ever to individuals and society as a whole.  It is tough to see so many people struggle with no real answers or solutions.  It is heartbreaking to see fear and worry turn to despair and depression with  negativity eating away at people.   For me the path forward  at this time is to prioritize family, health and work, in that order.  If those three things are taken care of on a daily basis then I am winning, the rest is out of my control.  I am thankful every day for what I have and never for once take it for granted and at the same time I know like my neck injury it can be lost so quickly that I will embrace what the day brings and try to keep the teeter totter from bucking me off.  This is what wellness is to me!